tooweak2beacure (tooweak2beacure) wrote,

To a friend- Alexisonfire

Dear reader. Thanks for reading.

It's important for me to say first to my friends who will be called out in this journal entry (of which none shall read consierding no one remembers I have this thing, as well as the fact that it's not intended for reading but instead for ventation. I said ventation... Yes.) I appreciate you for trying so hard to keep in touch, but you're ass-holes.

I've been hearing recently of friends talking about change, specifically, mine. While they're not wrong, they've all been blinded by one simple fact, I'm happy.

I moved back home to calm down. Moving out of my folks place turned my life into a party night after night, and honestly that's not me. That was never me. If you knew me back in the day I'd rather spend my nights at home with my gamecube, internet forums, chatrooms, and similar activities. I loathed the kids who would talk about ridiculous party adventures in class. Talk about getting so effed up that such & such happened.

I'm a home-body by nature. And for the year that I moved out, while I did have a great time and bonded with some really special people, I am done with that lifestyle. I'm keeping it real to myself. So... I'm calming down you could say.

I don't party everynight. I don't drink very much. I don't smoke weed anymore. I don't spend nights where I should be responsible being irresponsible doing nothing.

I'm happy as a fucking lamb that's honored to be slaughtered for my stewed lamb meal. I can buy things I want. I'm hard working and I want to go back to school.

Shit is going great. But the thing is. My friends don't see my change as something that I've planned on from the start. Two specifically are the most vocal about their problems with my shift in nature(which honestly is just a factory reset to who made me... me) They blame everything possible on the fact that I'm in a very happy relationship. For example:

Davie has work at 11. Davie has been 30-45 minutes late twice in the past week, having a normal sleeping schedule. Davies friends who live to party are hanging out near by. Davie, who wants to respect his friends makes his night that much longer to go say what's up. Davie brings the girl who he see's fit[more than] to chill with his peers considering they're all friends and she's way rad. Because Girl lives with davie and girl doesn't have her own means of transportation girl leaves with boy. so when davie is leaving a hangout sesh fairly early blame immediately gets put on the fact that davie is in a relationship.

but another example is stupid shit that has nothing to do with anything

"hey man that highfive hurt," says davie.
"Sorry, I didn't know that being in a relationship would make you a softie..." says the friend
"Fuck you dude, all I said was that highfive hurt"

Also you can't forget the pressure that she's getting on her end. which is her own story but I hear about it and it's lame.

So what I have to say is:
I work almost full time. I commute. I have personal hobbies. I do other stuff besides hangout until the next party.
Try growing your own set of responsibilities and try to be social too. Instead of coasting on unemployment and not finding work.
Try working more than 4 hours a week.

Try to save someone elses.
Be selfless and try to get someone on their feet.

and then complain to me when me being in a relationship changes me.

A sincere thanks to you guys though for trying to keep in touch and showing that I'm letting you down somehow.
A sarcastic thanks to you guys for the pressure and stress on my relationship so early on.
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